


Strange Arrangements

by coloursflyaway



Series: Kingsman Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Crack, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, M/M, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4316937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coloursflyaway/pseuds/coloursflyaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this sweet little prompt I got on Tumblr:<br/>Both of our lovely idiots groaning about the other's looks to Merlin (who'll get pissed off and fixes a Hartwin date for them without the dummies knowing anything)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Arrangements

„Tell me ’ow to get me ’air like that”, Eggsy exclaims, plops down on the chair in front of Merlin. He’s still in his suit, the white of his shirt stained with blood, and it takes Merlin a lot of strength not to comment on the price of the chair Eggsy is just sitting in, or that he will not hesitate to send the younger man the bill for the cleaners, should be get stains on it.  
“You shave your head. It is very simple, really.”  
“No”, Eggsy replies, rolls his eyes like Merlin just said the silliest thing he has ever heard. “I mean like ‘Arry, of course. It’s just so perfect. Like, it looks so soft, like a cloud. I just wanna- I don’t even know. ‘s probably not safe for work.”

Eggsy has the audacity to grin, dimples showing and green eyes growing brighter, and although Merlin knows that it’s the kind of smile that makes girls (and Harry Hart) go weak in the knees, it just makes him want to bang his head against something. As much as Merlin likes Eggsy, he hates him too, occasionally.  
“How should I know?”, he asks, hopes in vain that this conversation is going to end right now. He won’t survive another thirty minutes of Eggsy gushing over his former mentor. “It might come as a surprise to you, but I am not Harry’s barber.”

“Aw, c’mon.” Eggsy doesn’t seem to be inclined to leave him in peace any time soon – not that it’d be peace, not when Catalina from the Chilean department called him about another missing people case and Erlang Shen from the Chinese department asked about the blueprints for the new Rainmakers. The Chinese can be _so pushy_ sometimes. “I know that ya know at least somethin’. You’re basically Big Brother.”

Merlin sighs, then says, “He uses Imperial Barber Products’ classic pomade. Also, he straightens his hair, because, believe it or not, Harry Hart’s hair is a mop of curls in its natural state.”  
“No way.” Eggsy sounds utterly disbelieving, and Merlin might just cackle as he turns around to his computer.  
“Absolutely. Wait a second, I have pictures.”

 

“It’s his eyes, I think. No, it’s most definitely his eyes. They just… they’re so green. And sometimes, they get so bright that I’m afraid I’ll go blind if I look at him for too long.”  
Harry is… well, Merlin wouldn’t go as far as to say wasted (he has seen him wasted, and thankfully they are not quite there yet), but it looks like the other is trying his hardest to get there. At least judging from the whiskey Harry poured himself a few minutes ago.  
“Do we really have to go over this again?”, Merlin asks, but knows it’s useless, because they have been going over this for the last twenty minutes and Harry doesn’t seem to be inclined to stop anytime soon. At least they have finished talking about Eggsy’s mouth by now, because that is always a topic Merlin dreads.  
The last time it came up, he hadn’t been able to look the younger man in the eye for a week.

“He’s just so beautiful, Archie, and I just can’t- I mean look at me. I don’t even have both my eyes anymore, I’m fifty-three and he’s so young and I…” Harry’s voice trails off, and Merlin sighs, reaches out to put a hand on his best friend’s knee.  
“I know, Harry. I do.” His voice is softer than he wants it to be, but he can’t really help it; no matter what a pain in the arse Harry can be, Merlin still wants to see him happy, always. With Eggsy at his side, preferably, because really, they make each other better. “But I swear to God, the next time you call me by my birth name, I _will_ hurt you.”

 

The restaurant is perfect. Small, cosy, the kind of restaurant couples go to celebrate anniversaries and engagements, and it’s the easiest thing in the world to make up a story that sounds just plausible enough. Something about a drug dealer eating there often, and he has the two idiots on a dinner date, eating shrimp cocktails and trying very hard not to stare at each other.  
Something they both _absolutely_ fail at.

The last time Merlin has seen Harry Hart look so lovesick, they were both seventeen and Harry had lusted after Cornelia Ludwig, a German exchange student, who had later broken his heart.  
If it wasn’t so unnerving to watch, it would be cute.

“You did very well at your last mission”, Harry comments after a few moments of rather uncomfortable silence, and through his eyes, Merlin watches the smile spread on Eggsy’s lips, as if Harry had just said the most beautiful thing in the world to him. And really, maybe it is, because God knows how well that boy reacts to praise.  
“Thanks”, he replies, and sounds just as happy as he looks. “I did try. Although those yakuza guys, they know ‘ow to throw a punch.”  
“That they do.” Harry takes a sip of the wine that he will surely pay for with Kingsman money, although he picked out the most expensive one on the menu, as if Merlin couldn’t see it. That bastard. “When I had just become Galahad, I got sent to Japan on a mission, I can’t remember what it was about, but I don’t think I was ever beat up like that since I was eleven years old.”

That makes Eggsy laugh most ungentlemanly, but unlike Merlin, Harry doesn’t seem to notice it.  
“Really? You an’ bein’ beaten up?”  
“Unfortunately, yes. If I’m not absolutely mistaken, I came home with several broken ribs, a sprained ankle, minor internal bleeding and more bruises than I could count. Not to mention my wounded pride.” Harry is smiling too, looking more than pleased with himself, and Merlin decides that now is the right time for stage two.

He taps a few keys, then presses _send_ , and voila…

 _“Sorry, guv, didn’t mean to, but it’s just… fuck, it’s just hard to concentrate when ‘Arry’s right there the whole time, lookin’ like he always looks. Talkin’ like he always does. Maybe ya shouldn’t send me on any more missions with ‘im, I’m just gonna fuck ‘em up again”,_ Eggsy mutters unhappily in the video playing on Harry’s glasses, _“’E’s too much. An’ I… well, y’know, don’t ya?”  
“I do”, Merlin answers, pats Eggsy’s shoulder. “I do.”_

 _“I can’t watch this”,_ Harry exclaims, throws up his hands, in the feed Eggsy is watching. He looks, almost desperate with worry, because back then, three months ago, they had lost Eggsy’s signal for several minutes. _“Oh God, I swear, if something happens to him, I’ll- I can’t. I cannot lose him and if he dies I will personally go and kill every single one of those- oh, thank God. Eggsy, Eggsy, are you alright?”_  
Eggsy’s feed had come back, and Harry had almost scrambled to get to the microphone, his hands trembling. _“What happened? Are you alright? Thank God, I- we thought…”_

Merlin watches their faces, the absolute astonishment on Harry’s and the scared, hopeful excitement on Eggsy’s; how these two would manage their lives without him is beyond Merlin.  
“You…”, Harry breathes out at the same time Eggsy mutters, “Oh. My. God.”

There are two or three moments in which nothing happens, no one breathes, not even Merlin, then Harry, slowly, ever so slowly, reaches out and places his hand on the table, palm facing upwards, ready for Eggsy to take. Only that the boy has other plans.  
Eggsy whispers, “Oh, fuck it”, then rises up to the tips of his toes and reaches across the table to drag Harry towards him, one hand on his shoulder, the other one clutching at his tie.  
Merlin is glad that he doesn’t have to see the kiss that inevitably follows.

 

The next morning, there is a bottle of whiskey waiting for him on his desk, no card, but Merlin doesn’t need one. Harry has always been a gentleman, and gentlemen repay their debts.  
He smiles at the bottle, tries to figure out if he should treat himself to a sip right now, to congratulate himself on his good work, but never gets around deciding.  
Because the door is flung open and Eggsy storms inside, throws his arms around Merlin without saying a word first.

No matter what the new recruits are saying, Merlin is not a cyborg and does, in fact, have emotion, more or less healthy relationships, and yet he can’t remember the last time he was hugged like this. Eggsy’s arms are around his neck, almost clinging to him, his face is buried in the soft fabric of Merlin’s jumper, and he can feel the younger man’s breath against his skin, hot and wet and almost a bit too close.  
“Thank you”, Eggsy mutters, and Merlin relaxes, smiles although Eggsy can’t see it. _Ah_. “Thank you so much. “  
“Any time, my boy”, he answers, and means it, wraps one of his own arms loosely around Eggsy’s waist. “Any time.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> In case you want to say hi, send me a prompt, or tell me something nice, you can find me on Tumblr here:  
> [X](http://www.coloursflyaway.tumblr.com)


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